new year’s resolution

happy new year, everybody! 
i only have one goal for 2006… no drama! 
wish me luck…  =P

a&g’s housewarming party

it was so nice to get to see so many people on saturday!  thanks to everyone that made it out, and thanks for all the yummy food!  =D

ridiculous!

is there anyone as spoiled as me?!  look at how my garden is growing… 

thanks to joy, phebe, and girlfriend!  my desk is so colorful and happy, and the lilies smell wonderful! 

feeling lucky… and loved…  thanks, again, everyone! 

weekend report

friday:

saturday/sunday:

pet peeve

i hate hate hate when people say “no offense but….,” “i know i’m being selfish but…,” “this may make me sound like an asshole but…,” “i’m not racist but…,”

qualifying your statement does not make the offensive/selfish/assholish/racist thing that comes out of your mouth next ok! 

craigslist

i love craigslist, especially the personal ads.    reading them is a favorite form of procrastination when i’m bored at work, and i’ve come across such gems as “bald obese perfectionist seeks lover” and “are you into handcuffs?”  hahaha.  so, in the same vein of alleviating my boredom (and also in trying to get my mind off a certain bob saget look-alike), i decided to post my own ad.

SAF knows what she’s *not* looking for:

no perverts!
no asian fetish
no one w/out a college degree
no married men
no dads
no religious zealots
no pro-lifers
no long hair
no facial hair
no metrosexuals
no one younger than 23
no one older than 29
no smokers
no one shorter than 5′ 7″
no one taller than 6′ 2″
no one that hates dancing

anyone else, feel free to send me your own list of no’s.
and we’ll see from there.

check out these replies:

reply #1

well, you stopped me at no pervs

reply #2

I done seen your post and I knows that I’M PERFECT FOR YOU!

Cuz I can tells how you like them.  See, I buy old cars that don’t no more run and I fix them up real good with bondo.  Then I spray them down with this primer stuff that my buddy earl give me- he my best friend my junior high and he always fix me up real good.  I’m working up to wheres I can spray them with real paint on top, but I need to finish my class at the adult school before I can do that all legal like.  You know?

I must tell you, I’m not too good at groomin, see?  I wear my beard and my hair real long just like the good LORD’s SON Jesus Christ did.  I doth bring HONOR UPON HIM by doing that. Amen.

I’ve had a whole lot of hobbies in my 54 years.  Right now I’m working on my whittling technike.  Also I like to go on pro-life rallys and chain myself to the doors of abortion clinics and stop all those heathen womenfolk from murdering their unborn babies.  In additionally, I shoot lots of squirrels and stuff them.

Please no that I’m married and my wife doesn’t know that I goes on Greg’s list.  If yous going to be with me, you haff to swear you won’t tell her nothing. She might leave me and take our 7 godly children with her.

I’m sorry if I made some typos.  Being only 5 feet tall and all my fingers are real tiny and these keys are real big.  I’m also trying to hold my cigarette whilst I type and keep the ash off the keyboard.  See I juz bot this keyboard at wallmart and its real purty.

Dancing and drinking are sins and only invite the devil upon thee.

I’m sorry, why would you want a metrosexual if you looking for a man to satisfy you?  GOD condemns the gays anyway and you do not want to burn in hellfire with them!

One more thing- when you meet me and we lay together will you where one of them geisha outfits?  God nos I love the orientals.

Sincerely and Truly Yours,

Willmer Thurgood Johnson III

hahahaha.  i’m dying.  craigslist is the best. 

heidi’s pies

yesterday i discovered a diner that serves THIRTY FIVE different types of pie!!!! 

my new mission in life is to consume every type of pie on their menu (minus the banana cream and the banana meringue, since, as we all know, bananas are trash)!

new job

i finally tricked someone into paying me to go clubbing every weekend!  yay!    here’s to having an extra couple hundred dollars a month and never having to worry about going to the gym ever again. 

too bad i’m home all alone and there’s no one to celebrate w/ me. 

too bad i’m also starving and there’s nothing open right now. 
where’s quan’s kitchen when you need it?! 

google picnic

thursday was the google picnic which was, of course, ridiculous!  it was basically like having great america on our campus.    games, rides, prizes, live music, and, of course, what would a google event be without tons and tons of food?!  i google! 

bff bday celebration (part 1)

bff bday celebration (part 2)